Erotomania - A Crush Gone Too Far
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In my definition, a crush is the foundation for love. You can have a crush on someone when you like them, find them attractive, want to get to know them better and think about them frequently. The person you have a crush on can either have interest in you as well and you can build onto your foundation. Or if the person doesn’t have any interest in you, the foundation will begin to crumble and you find a new ‘site’ to build your foundation on. But what happens when you let that crush go too far? This paper will discuss the psychological disorder of Erotomania and answer the following questions:
1. What is Erotomania?
2. What are the signs/symptoms of Erotomania?
3. Is Erotomania dangerous?
4. Is there a treatment/cure for Erotomania?
What is Erotomania?
Erotomania is a psychological disorder marked by the delusional belief that one is the object of another person's love or sexual desire (Erotomania, 2010). This disorder typically affects middle-aged women. It is commonly associated with psychiatric illnesses such as Schizophrenia or Bipolar Affective Disorder (Olojugba, De Silva, Kartsounis, Royan, and Carter, 2007, pg. 193). However, Erotomania is not limited to just middle-aged women. It has also been considered an obsessive compulsive disorder.
An Erotomanic – someone who suffers from Erotomania – can also believe that they are in love with someone instead of someone in love with them. This can happen at any age, sex, sexual preference, or race. Erotomania is also called de Clerambault’s Syndrome after the French psychiatrist, Gaëtan Gatian de Clerambault, who published a comprehensive review paper on the subject (Les Psychoses Passionelles ) in 1942 (Knowledgerush, 2010).
Erotomania can easily be confused with several other psychiatric illnesses like nymphomania, obsessive love disorder and narcissism. Nymphomania is hypersexuality or excessive sexual desire. Erotomania isn’t necessarily about a sexual desire, however a desire for a relationship. Obsessive love disorder happens when a person has an extreme attachment towards someone. This usually happens in children and triggered by distress. It is very similar however the person with obsessive love disorder doesn’t imagine a relationship. Narcissism is mainly self-love, someone who greatly admires themselves.
What are the signs/symptoms of Erotomania?
The signs and symptoms of Erotomania are just like any romantic relationship – love letters, telephone calls, flowers and chocolates. Still, it can get obsessive. Just like a real relationship, the intimacy will grow as the time passes (Erotomania Obsessive Compulsive Behaviour, April 19, 2009). Erotomaniacs have even been known to stalk. Although most do not feel as though they are wrong, some can become aware of what they are doing. These episodes of Erotomania can be brought on by special glances, signals or thoughts of telepathy (Erotomania, March 28, 2010).
Is Erotomania dangerous?
Erotomania can be very dangerous just like most other psychological disorders. An Erotomanic will go to extremes in order to get what they want. The following is a true story from a victim named Doreen Orion. She and her husband were both psychiatrists working at the same hospital. Her husband had too many patients and asked Doreen to see a few. One of the patients was a middle-aged woman named Fran. Fran started with sending Doreen love letters and eventually moved to a house within one mile of Doreen’s home. Despite restraining orders from Doreen, Fran would not stop. Eventually Fran started to believe that Doreen was pursuing her. The police could not do anything else. Doreen and her husband actually moved 500 miles away in hopes that Fran would stop (Erotomania Obsessive Compulsive Behaviour, April 19, 2009).
A movie called Obsessed aired on Lifetime based on a true story. The inspiration was actually an article in the 1991 Vanity Fair magazine called Erotomania – The Haunting of Dr. Brennan . A client of Dr. Brennan had made up and believed that she and Dr. Brennan were having an affair and that he was going to leave his wife. The client would stalk him, send love letters, call him and tell everyone she knew about the wonderful new man in her life. Of course, none of it was true and the client actually went to jail because of how things escalated.
Is there a treatment/cure for Erotomania?
The key to treating Erotomania is finding the underlying cause of the issue. It can be managed with pharmacological and non-pharmacological treatment (Kelly, B., June 1, 2005). Follow-up is essential since Erotomania may not be fully curable. It can reoccur.
Though there have been movies and articles based on true stories about Erotomania, it is a serious problem. It is very common for patients and clients to sue their doctors on malpractice claims (Langleben, D., Dattillio, F., Guthei, T., September 1, 2006). Erotomaniacs can be very convincing since they believe what they are saying is real. Being a victim from Erotomania can be very stressful, especially for someone who is already married or in a committed relationship. It’s only natural to want to feel a sense of love and self-belonging as shown on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. But for some, the initial crush can go too far.
References
Erotomania. (2010). In Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary . Retrieved April 10, 2010, from http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/erotomania
Erotomania. (March 28, 2010). Wikipedia. Retrieved April 11, 2010 from, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erotomania
Erotomania Obsessive Compulsive Behaviour. (April 19, 2009). Erotomania – A Love Obsession, Stranger Than Fiction . Retrieved, April 10, 2010 from, http://www.mymultiplesclerosis.co.uk/stranger-than-fiction/erotomania.html
Kelly, B. (June 1, 2005). Erotomania Epidemiology and Management, CNS Drugs 2005 19 8 (657-669). Retrieved April 9, 2010, from EBSCOhost.
Knowledgerush. (2010). Erotomania. Retrieved April 10, 2010, from http://www.knowledgerush.com/kr/encyclopedia/Erotomania/
Langleben, D, Dattilio, F, and Guthei, T. (September 1, 2006). True lies: delusions and lie-detection technology, The Journal of Psychiatry & Law, 34 (351-370). Retrieved April 2, 2010, from EBSCOhost.
Olojugba, C, De Silva, R, Kartsounis, L, Royan, L and Carter, J. (September 1, 2007). De Clerambault’s syndrome (erotomania) as presenting feature of fronto-temperal dementia and motor neurone disease (FTD-MND), Behavioural Neurology 18 (193-195). Retrieved April 1, 2010, from EBSCOhost.
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"Erotomania can be very dangerous just like most other psychological disorders."
Good god, what a flaky thing to say! Obviously far from true. Most crimes are committed by people who are not diagnosable with a mental disorder, and most mentally ill people are not dnagerous.
That statement is an indication that the writer (Marshmallow Fluff??) is not an expert on these matters, to say the least!
I find it to be dangerous. There was a lady named Margaret Mary Ray. She had the disease. Her case was worse than mine. She was delusional about David Letterman. She commited suicide at the end. Also the guy who killed one of the beatles.Really sad story's. At least I am able to somewhat control, my condition. Somedays are harder than others.
i have this disorder
i kept chasing many guys
and finally it ended tragically with one guy
Lovenausea Do you care to share. What happened that it finally ended tragically. Also sounds like you had multiple love interest.
There are not many articles about this disorder. I have it - big time - and have since early childhood. Actually, being older and wiser does help. Recently, someone I had a crush on since 6th grade got married, and it threw me for a loop. But then I studied his FaceBook page, and discovered I didn't have the qualifications or fortitude to fulfill that role, and so was able to put it in perspective, and even congratulate them.
I read the way to overcome erotomania is to develop the skills in yourself that you admire in the object of your obsession. I believe another way is to actually reach out to people, instead of living in a fantasy world. Oftentimes, you find what you believe about the person, and how the person really is, are two entirely different entities.
I think i have this kind of disorder. I been inlove for 2years with my dentist and she is a girl. I was inlove with girl especially older woman. Now, i am seeking a psychologist but until now i cannot control my desireto thatgirl i love most.
I suffered with Erotomania for exactly 4 yrs and 7 months. The pain was unbearable, it was like a death. He was in my head constantly. My head felt so heavy and it always felt like there were things moving in my head. It also felt like there was a blurr over my eyes. I would say to myself, i don't wish this on anyone. I longed to sleep as it was the only time i would not feel the pain. There is no pain worse than emotional pain and there is no pill for it. I used to dig the palm of my hand into my heart to try and release the pain. Your heart does pain with heart-acke. Then one day i was washing the dishes and the pain was very intense. I walked to my bedroom crying and looked into the mirror. I was very emotional. I said (God please take this pain from me. I don't want it anymore. I have suffered enough) And in my right ear i heard a mans voice, it was a very deep voice. He said only three words, he said (It is done). I felt very weak for the rest of the day and cried a lot, yet strangely i felt that something was happening. The next morning when i woke it was different. I noticed the Sun and i could hear the birds singing. I put on music and started to dance and sing. Then i stood and realized that pain, that terrible pain was gone and i was free. I fell on my knees and all i could say was (God is Great and there is no Love like Gods love). I do not resent the person that i so Loved, i look at him now as a Teacher. Someone who came into my life to show me a higher Spiritual understanding through Hurt. I hope this will help someone.










Lost Love81 4 months ago
I suffer from Erotomania. I have had this awful sickness for 10 years now. I rather not say who the object of my affection is. But I would like to say it has not been easy. It's a constint fight with myself. I know it's not true but for some reason my mind begs to differ. I do not feel in love with this person. But if I see them or hear about them my I get really emotional. I pray one day it goes away but for now I got it and I am doing my best to deal with it. I do not bother the person. I don't send love letters call or stoke. I just think about him constantly Day and night for 10 years. From the moment I wake up to the moment I fall asleep. It's crazy. I hate it. I don't know why this happened to me. They say it could be because of Trauma I experienced in my life. This is Sad and True.